Why are Sikh girls behaving bad when far from home/family?

dheerajg · #1 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 22:29 PM

del
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Narayanjot Kaur · #2 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 22:55 PM

There is such a thing as the Law of Unintended Consequences. Anything you do can backfire in a way that you least suspect. They are not your family members. If they were related to you, then you could consider having a serious chat with the perpetrators. You can be a good listener to the wife, who probably needs a friend right now. But --My advice, stay out of it. More than you realize could happen -- even things you might regret later in life.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/relationships/29454-why-sikh-girls-behaving-bad-when.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=29454

Narayanjot Kaur · #3 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 23:00 PM

LOL - Thanks for changing the title!!!!!!!!!!! I much appreciate it.

Tejwant Singh · #4 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 23:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dheerajg

A Sikh colleague of mine is having an affair with an Hindu Telugu married guy. She knows that he is married and that he is having lots of problems with his wife due to her. Still the affair continues. I have tried my best to advise her but she is not listening to me. The married guy has dumped his wife and is currently staying with this sikh girl. It is really painful to see that wife crying and begging to save her marriage. This sikh girl belongs to a decent , very rich family in Chandigarh. But she says she doesnot want to marry a turban unshaved guy. Just because she wanted to have cheap fun and did not want her family to know, she has travelled down south and is now working in Bangalore. I have noticed a similar trend with many sikh girls who come from far North to the pub city to have fun. If any parents are reading this, I would strongly suggest them to send their girls to Bangalore. She spends most of her time drinking, partying, travelling and sleeping with this guy. I am very sure that her parents trust her too much. I strongly feel that such girls are a black mark to the Sikh community. What do you suggest that I should do in this case? Should I call that girls family and inform about her cheat dirty behavior? What will the possible course of action taken by her parents? I am afraid if they will believe me in the first place. Is it possible they will threaten the wife and get this sikh girl married to the Telugu Hindu guy? I am posting this issue here so that I can get help and advise from senior Sikh members who will be able to guide from the perspective of the girl's parents. Please help.

Dheerajg,

Guru Fateh.

Let me try to understand what you are saying and I need your help in it. So, I may ask a few questions.

As your name is Dheeraj, which means-Sehaj,Calm, Peace, Reasoning-, you are not acting in any of the qualities your name represent.

First let us go with the title:
Why are Sikh girls in Bangalore behaving bad?

What do you mean by that?
How many Sikh girls have you met that are behaving badly and in what manner?
Why bring religion into this. She could have been a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jaini, a Buddhist, a Parsi etc. etc.?
Why this bias?

You start your post:

A Sikh colleague of mine is having an affair with an Hindu Telugu married guy.

Why isn’t it the other way around?
Why couldn’t you say that "a Hindu married Telugu man has lured an innocent Sikh girl to have an affair with him and is doing a bad thing by committing adultery and being unfaithful to his wife"?
Whose duty is not to have an affair, the person who is married or the innocent person who is being lured by the married one?

From your post it seems, that the man did not care about his marriage vows and about his family and left his wife while enticing a single woman into his lecherous net irrespective of the victim’s religion and you are blaming the victim in all this?

What point are you trying to make from your own moral scale?

Would you go and write the same post in the forums of all the other religions if the girl belonged to any of them in this manner?

Which forum would you write if the victim were a Hindu?

So, I beg to differ with you. The Sikh girl is the victim in all this, not a villain the way you have painted her and tried to paint others of her religion with the plural in the title of your post which is a shame. It shows that it is you who is as immoral as your Hindu married Telegu friend. You have shown your moral values by defending an immoral lecher and accusing the real victim.

Why didn’t you go to your Hindu married friend’s parents and tell them all this about their son committing adultery? I am sure they live closer than the victim’s parents who live in Chandigarh?

Why didn’t you go to the wife’s parents and let them know how their son in law is committing adultery which is not the right thing to do?

Why just blame the victim?

Unless you come up with the true perspective about all the whole situation for your own sake, you are not trying to help anyone but rather trying your best to punish the victim.

So, let’s help all of them, the wife who is a victim, the lover/mistress who got falsely lured in this net and the villain who can become a good husband and a father again and lastly yourself who should see things in a truthful manner.

Hope to hear from you about all this soon.

Regards

Tejwant Singh

kds1980 · #5 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 23:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dheerajg

A Sikh colleague of mine is having an affair with an Hindu Telugu married guy. She knows that he is married and that he is having lots of problems with his wife due to her. Still the affair continues. I have tried my best to advise her but she is not listening to me. The married guy has dumped his wife and is currently staying with this sikh girl. It is really painful to see that wife crying and begging to save her marriage. This sikh girl belongs to a decent , very rich family in Chandigarh. But she says she doesnot want to marry a turban unshaved guy. Just because she wanted to have cheap fun and did not want her family to know, she has travelled down south and is now working in Bangalore. I have noticed a similar trend with many sikh girls who come from far North to the pub city to have fun. If any parents are reading this, I would strongly suggest them to send their girls to Bangalore. She spends most of her time drinking, partying, travelling and sleeping with this guy. I am very sure that her parents trust her too much. I strongly feel that such girls are a black mark to the Sikh community. What do you suggest that I should do in this case? Should I call that girls family and inform about her cheat dirty behavior? What will the possible course of action taken by her parents? I am afraid if they will believe me in the first place. Is it possible they will threaten the wife and get this sikh girl married to the Telugu Hindu guy? I am posting this issue here so that I can get help and advise from senior Sikh members who will be able to guide from the perspective of the girl's parents. Please help.

Why do you care about that sikh girl? Do you think that any self respecting sikh guy will want to marry her

kds1980 · #6 (**permalink**) 06-Mar-2010, 23:44 PM

Quote:

So, I beg to differ with you. The Sikh girl is the victim in all this, not a villain the way you have painted her and tried to paint others of her religion with the plural in the title of your post which is a shame. It shows that it is you who is as immoral as your Hindu married Telegu friend. You have shown your moral values by defending an immoral lecher and accusing the real victim.

How is sikh girl victim here? is she uneducated? is she forcibly taken by telugu guy.If a person know's whether another person is using her/him taking benefit either by physically or financially
and still he want's to be with him/her then he/she is a big fool and I am sorry to say many time these so educated liberal women of any religion put themself in these situations and then when the guy dump them they cry of being victim ,victim

Tejwant Singh · #7 (**permalink**) 07-Mar-2010, 00:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanwardeep Singh

How is sikh girl victim here? is she uneducated? is she forcibly taken by telugu guy.If a person know's whether another person is using her/him taking benefit either by physically or financially
and still he want's to be with him/her then he/she is a big fool and I am sorry to say many time these so educated liberal women of any religion put themself in these situations and then when the guy dump them they cry of being victim ,victim

Kanwardeep Singh ji,

Guru Fateh.

I have no idea why this anger and rage. Please read my whole post so you can understand the reasoning behind it with calmness not with inner calamity. I do not know what you mean by " these so educated liberal women ".

Should education make them less liberal- open minded?

What is an educated non-liberal woman like in your mind?

Education or lack of it has nothing to do with adultery. Victims come in all different forms. The fact is that the man is married one not the girl.

Regards

Tejwant Singh

dheerajg · #8 (**permalink**) 07-Mar-2010, 00:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanwardeep Singh

Why do you care about that sikh girl? Do you think that any self respecting sikh guy will want to marry her

Kanwardeep ji,

How will the sikh guy know about this girl's behavior? She seems to be using the her distance from her home as an advantage. Family doesnt visit her and she goes home once in an year.

kds1980 · #9 (**permalink**) 07-Mar-2010, 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dheerajg

Kanwardeep ji,

How will the sikh guy know about this girl's behavior? She seems to be using the her distance from her home as an advantage. Family doesnt visit her and she goes home once in an year.

Well if the girl start her new marriage on the basis of a lie and pretend to be
good girl then there is very good chance that one day her marriage will fall.
Anyway you have written that she don't want to marry a turbaned bearded
sikh guy so It is a blessing for turbaned guys that these type of girls will not marry them

kds1980 · #10 (**permalink**) 07-Mar-2010, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tejwant Singh

Kanwardeep Singh ji,

Guru Fateh.

I have no idea why this anger and rage. Please read my whole post so you can understand the reasoning behind it with calmness not with inner calamity. I do not know what you mean by " these so educated liberal women ".

Should education make them less liberal- open minded?

What is an educated non-liberal woman like in your mind?

Education or lack of it has nothing to do with adultery. Victims come in all different forms. The fact is that the man is married one not the girl.

Regards

Tejwant Singh

The girl very well know that He is married and still she is with her.There is no way we can say that she is a victim.The only victim in story is wife of that man.Earlier the society use to believe that fault always lies with women now
people have started believing that fault is always with man and women are always victim no matter what they do.

I just want to say that if a person goes to thugs despite knowing that those people are thugs and one day the thug's cheat him then the fault lies with the both and not with thugs only