Why are Sikh girls behaving bad when far from home/family?

kds1980 · #31 (**permalink**) 10-Mar-2010, 00:34 AM

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If a sikh girl can be with a fat, dark not so good looking married old Telugu guy, why cant she be with UP bhaiya’s?

I believe the girls are taking undue advantage of being away from home. The parents who have only seen until they complete school or college are totally unaware of their little girl’s behavior.

In this case, the girl is from a traditional rich family who most probably will get married to a turbaned guy. I think she wants to have a taste of the other side before she commits.

You are talking about a girl living in south obviously in south she will get South Indian men their.While in Punjab you see lot's of Punjabi men.Please remember Punjabi men are considered as most handsome in India

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What is the necessity for spreading such a rumor?

Dheeraj I could ask my brother to tell many stories from his college or workplace where boys sometime spread rumours to show How much they are in Demand in Girls.Many time's misunderstanding also spread if a boy or girl talk often

kds1980 · #32 (**permalink**) 10-Mar-2010, 01:56 AM

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Originally Posted by dheerajg

Kanwardeep ji, The city we are discussing about is Bangalore which comprises of 60+% of North Indians.

Another question comes to my mind. North Indians seem to settle down in Bangalore a lot. Why so? Why do they have to leave the capital city and come here? IT companies/BPO's are now all over India. Why should they travel so far down? We do not see much south Indian single/male in the Northern states.

You are talking about indivisual case.There are women like padma lakshmi who choose old men like salman rushdie.Then we have women like anuradha who choose's middle age Indian politician and converted to islam.Then we have super beautiful bollywood heroine like sri devi who married divorced Punjabi hindu man
So please talk about attituide of sikh girls in general and not about a particular case

Also many Indian saints ,poets have written things about women that their behaviour is very difficuilt to predict.Many Liberal feminist of today's world may not agree with it but if we look around us we may find deep truth in their writing about women behaviour

kds1980 · #33 (**permalink**) 10-Mar-2010, 14:02 PM

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Originally Posted by dalbirk

Dear Kanwardeep Ji ,
Of course they might be spreading rumours but I have listened him talking to more than one Punjabi girls on phone myself , so there must be some truth in this after all . The factor in this is IMHO that Punjabi people are not sure about what their culture is after all thanks to the wave of liberalisation hitting whole of Punjab & the wholesale degnigration of so-called PUNJABIAT by the cultural ambassadors ie . Punjabi pop singers . Punjabi girls are portrayed as semi-nude , craving for lust , booze & easy time , as a result the girls are also unsure about their way forward . They think that having a good time is the best achievement they can have , the more they have the more they will be counted as high achievers ( whatever that means ). The wholesale loss of innocence as well as old beliefs , values post 1984 , parents just avoiding sharing anything remotely connected with Sikhi with their children has all lead to the situation today . Punjabis today have no sense of superiority , instead there is inferiority complex regarding themselves , Punjabi language ( children & ladies just do not speak Punjabi anymore ) . These all are ill-effects of mass consumerism & non-spirituality which is havering in Punjab today .

Dalbirk ji

I would also like to mention another point and that is Muslim girl's in India are also portrayed in same manner.Infact they are ruling the bollywood and do wear semi nude clothe's.This has been going from past 60 years I can mention many name's but at Present I want to mention Katrina the queen of bollywood.but still an average muslim Girl does not copy them.so this arguement of portrayal of sikh Girls is also not going to work

Atheist · #34 (**permalink**) 12-Mar-2010, 03:58 AM

I was raised as a Sikh by traditional Indian Sikh parents but now I am an atheist (if anyone wants to discuss why that'd be a good separate topic). I am intrigued by this post. I think we can all agree that if "bad" behavior is going on you can't just say it's totally the girl's fault or it's totally the guy's fault (unless he raped her, which he didn't). I have heard of similar situations where, as dheerajg points out, Sikh people act "bad" or whatever word you want to use. Again you can't always say it's the Sikh person's fault and you can't always say it's the other person's fault. My question is, does anyone here think that the strict upbringing by many Sikh parents might be a catalyst for some young people to rebel more when they become independent? I have heard stories of Sikh parents doing things that might be considered abusive by some, but they will think they're doing the right thing because of religion. I was about to be dragged out of our house when I was 16 for cutting my hair until I promised to stop (a fake promise, but what choice did I have?). So perhaps how one is raised plays a factor in how they act when they are independent, and Sikh parents can be quite strict (so can Catholic parents - my best friend totally rebelled in college after a strict upbringing in a Catholic home). I was raised with almost 100% white people so perhaps the stories I have heard/experienced are more the exception than the rule.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/relationships/29454-why-sikh-girls-behaving-bad-when.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=29454

Feel free to provide copious criticism.

Narayanjot Kaur · #35 (**permalink**) 12-Mar-2010, 04:32 AM

Atheist ji

Well my own reaction to your comments? You had experiences that put you in touch with a wide variety of people and circumstances. And it shows because you are unwilling to put people into boxes and close the lid, nor do you point fingers of blame in this or that direction. In situations like the one described here more than one person contributed to the emotional pain of others and their own ethical confusion.

Astroboy · #36 (**permalink**) 12-Mar-2010, 21:22 PM

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My only goal is to save their marriage

From Gurmat point of view, Saskriti Selok point out the following as a fore-warning about worldly relationships.

Ang 1354

ਧ੍ਰਿਗੰਤ ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਨੇਹੰ ਧ੍ਰਿਗ ਸਨੇਹੰ ਭ੍ਰਾਤ ਬਾਂਧਵਹ ॥
ध्रिगंत मात पिता सनेहं ध्रिग सनेहं भ्रात बांधवह ॥
Ḏẖariganṯ māṯ piṯā sanehaŉ ḏẖarig sanehaŉ bẖarāṯ bāŉḏẖvah.
Cursed is loving attachment to one's mother and father; cursed is loving attachment to one's siblings and relatives.

ਧ੍ਰਿਗ ਸ੍ਨੇਹੰ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਬਿਲਾਸ ਸੁਤਹ ॥
ध्रिग स्नेहं बनिता बिलास सुतह ॥
Ḏẖarig snėh▫aŉ baniṯā bilās suṯah.
Cursed is attachment to the joys of family life with one's spouse and children.

ਧ੍ਰਿਗ ਸ੍ਨੇਹੰ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਾਰਥ ਕਹ ॥
ध्रिग स्नेहं ग्रिहारथ कह ॥
Ḏẖarig snėh▫aŉ garihārath kah.
Cursed is attachment to household affairs.

ਸਾਧਸੰਗ ਸ੍ਨੇਹ ਸਤ੍ਯ੍ਯਿੰ ਸੁਖਯੰ ਬਸੰਤਿ ਨਾਨਕਹ ॥੨॥
साधसंग स्नेह सत्यिं सुखयं बसंति नानकह ॥२॥
Sāḏẖsang snėh saṯi▫yaŉ sukẖ▫yaŉ basanṯ nānkah. ||2||
Only loving attachment to the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, is True. Nanak dwells there in peace. ||2||