Dealing with your Sikh child's drug & alcohol addiction

Soul_jyot · #10 (**permalink**) 28-Nov-2011, 23:30 PM

Please review & consider the following professional option in your area:

Drug rehab and alcoholism rehabilitation center
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/parenting/37662-dealing-your-sikh-childs-drug-alcohol.html

Link: http://www.mountainside.com/
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nyspunjabi · #11 (**permalink**) 28-Nov-2011, 23:32 PM

Dear Ambarsariya ji,

Thanks for your feedback.. really appreciate it..

You are absoloutely correct.. it is very difficult to have had to reach the decision to kick out our son from home if he does not accept professional help or our help for his drug & alcohol use...

It only has come this far because his life & his behavior with us has only gone downhill over the past 3 years...

He has repeatedly been caught with various drugs & alcohol in his bedroom...cursed at me & his sister left & right especially when we confront him about any of his bad habits...has even raised his hand at my daughter...thrown objects at me across a room while "under the influence"....has lost 2 of his last jobs...due to no shows or calling out...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662

We still kept him home...tried our level best to offer him help ...both professional & form us....he feels that he has no problem !!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662

The amount of sleepless nights...when he didn't come home till 2 in the morning...or came home with throw up on his clothes or simply so "high" that he passed out the moment got home....I cant't tell you what a nightmare we have been living....but still kept him home...hoping he will stop...hoping he will change....

harry haller · #12 (**permalink**) 29-Nov-2011, 00:19 AM

Nyspunjabi,

All we can do here is use our collective experiences to try and help, Ambersariaji and Lionji are both parents, I am not, however, do you think your sons problems are personality related or drug related, ie, when he is not on drugs, does it make a difference?

The problem with rehab is tackling the addiction of drugs when there is a bigger underlying problem, but Lionji would know more about that than me,
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662

I can relate in some way to your sons behaviour, I will ponder my teen years tonight, and if I have anything else constructive to add, I will do so later,

I feel like apologising to you....... maybe later I think I will call my Dad, sometimes as children we have no idea what we put our parents through,

lionsingh · #13 (**permalink**) 29-Nov-2011, 00:35 AM

I am 45...took me 3 years of hard drinking just to get to the point where I said I may have a problem......45 years old !!!!! Okay the divorce and bankrupcy and pain...hey..Always thought I didnt have a problem.....Until 6 months ago.

He is young and thinks he is indestructible and that he chills out etc...

one thing he has said " I am not an addict... I don't need any help" ... try to say okay...then get a TEST !!!! You will never reach him by telling him what may be obvious to others around him...

He refuses because you are his MOTHER...He is trying to get independence and will rebel against almost anything. Be strong.... speak to your own Doctor as well.

God bless and may the Gurus give you wisdom.

A prayer I learnt in REHAB

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
but the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference"

He says "I can stop any time I want... but I choose not 2 cuz it's relaxing to do pot & helps me do better in school"

Every addict in the world can stop when they want but because I feel in control (as always) I choose to do it attitude.

Best NEVER to use the word addict to him, whether he is or not...just a blood test and say its okay at the moment..FIND OUT whether it is really a damaging addiction or a teenage rebellion. I smoked dope for years as a kid and got 2 degrees...and a black belt in Aikido.

As to "If you force me 2 go 2 rehab.." I stayed where Robbie Williams did at Clouds...He wrote the song Angels there and sang it for the first time there. I met Amy Winehouses parents sadly after she had died from alcohol.... and people will RUN...I walked out after 6 days !!!! but got 1 mile down the road when a car asked me if I would like a lift back ;'-0
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662

To deny him is to make him run to his drugs faster...TRUST ME....PLEASE DO NOT FORSAKE HIM

as you say is a desperate attempt 2 make him realize how tought life can be out on ur own...

It is more your desperate attempt. Look at the people and junkies on the street...they dont care but for the addiction..and he will blame everything on you.

Get him to a GP and a blood test...no blame...It is an illness and we shouldnt hurt those that are ill. A NORMAL Dr first as a drug Dr he will rebel again...

BUT the question REALLY remains...does he smoke pot and drink in moderation in his peer group and cultural environment and you are against that or IS HE REALLY addicted and in need of help...

"God/Guru grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
but the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference"

lionsingh · #14 (**permalink**) 29-Nov-2011, 00:59 AM

I am back at home with my parents at 45..Guru bless them for their support

Tejwant Singh · #15 (**permalink**) 29-Nov-2011, 02:55 AM

Nyspunjabi ji,

Guru Fateh.

Just to say that I feel your pain would be an insult to all you are going through. Lion Singh ji has expressed it best. I would like to ask you about his dad. What is his relationship with him. How is he tackling this situation with his 18 year old son?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37662

Is there drinking at home or do you allow that during parties etc? What I mean by that is that can he blame the household for drinking?

Kicking him out will not solve any problem and it will be heart breaking for all the family. Love, understanding and the most important, accepting that it is an illness which has a cure is the best solution.

Good luck.

Regards

Tejwant Singh