Hi Lionchild! I also am a convert to
Sikhism and relate very much to what you are saying. I am quite reluctant to go to the Gurdwara as I feel very isolated there. Almost like I am being looked at strangely. Realistically, I am aware that these are my own inferiorities that I need to work on. You seem to be one step ahead of me as you have the courage to talk to others. I avoid the Langar hall altogether when I do have to courage to go and honestly, I always take someone with me. I also wanted to ask about how to break this barrier...
I really wanted to reply to your sentence about one telling you (Quote): granth sahib should only be read and spoken in the "language of the guru's" aka punjabi. Firstly, if I am not mistaken, the
Guru Granth Sahib was not written in Punjabi to begin with. It was later translated. Secondly, was it not Guru Arjan who wanted to tnaslate it into Indian and other languages so that its words could spread over the world like oil over water?
Sikhism was never about exclusivity but embracing all philosophies. That is why you can find writings in the scared books by Hindus, Muslims and sikhs.
I wonder if sometimes (in London at least) if culture is becoming confused for religion?
If you are interested in learning about the history of the
Sikhism, how it became, the Gurus etc I would suggest reading 'The
Sikh Religion' by Max Arthur Macauliffe (ISBN: 81-7536-132-8).