Problems becoming a Sikh

For years now I've known Sikhism is really the only religion that fits my beliefs: One God, no rituals, no hierarchy of priests fleecing the flock, no blood sacrifice (nor or in it's past), no idols and no completely unbelievable fabricated history (like the Middle Eastern religions).

I love listening to kirtans and have visited a Gurudwara close to my house several times.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/new-to-sikhism/32472-problems-becoming-a-sikh.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=32472

My only problem is the 5 ks which I am not, and am not sure I will ever be ready, to adopt. While I understand the meaning of having uncut hair as accepting the way God made things, I like having short hair and letting it get just a little bit too long makes me feel very unclean and uncomfortable.

I also worry about taking on symbols and such as possibly being ostentatious.

But I have heard about Sahajdaris, and now I wonder if it is actually possible to become a Sikh without wearing the 5 Ks. Be a Sikh but not a Khalsa?

 
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Eternalcalm ji

What changes in lifestyle and appearances would you be willing to make to "become" a Sikh?

Are you also thinking that to be a Sikh one must be Khalsa (initiated)?

No A sikh need not be a khalsa. i know Eternalcalm is here to raise a storm I guess but a mere definition is not going to change sikh religion. It will make it stronger. The breaking force results in making a stronger bond.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=32472
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=32472
Sikhism has become stronger after 1984.

More efforts to dilute it make it stronger.

There it is copied exactly from the English translation at the SGPC website. http://www.sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_one.html

Most Sikhs are not initiated (Amritdhari, Khalsa); it is not a requirement for being a Sikh according to the most generally accepted Code of Conduct. There are other Codes, but almost all Sikhs accept this one.

So the short answer is, No, Amrit is not necessary to be a Sikh. You must believe in it, but you don't have to accept it.

However...and this is just my personal opinion...not permitting yourself to be blessed with Amrit is a bit like attending a banquet and eating the appetisers and sort of nibbling on the entree and skipping desert altogether. So much of the richness and depth of the experience of being Sikh is missed without accepting this blessing.

Becoming a[n aspiring] Khalsa is a huge commitment, I think even moreso than marriage. It should never be entered into lightly. It is very difficult and, speaking for myself only, I fall far short of what a Khalsa should be (which is why I call myself a[n aspiring] Khalsa). But it is so much worth the effort. I know how bad this sounds and I should no doubt have my hand slapped for typing this, but I sometimes wonder, what is the point of being a Sikh if you are not either Amritdhari or working towards it. Naughty, bad elitist me!

Still I know most Sikhs are not Amritdhari; in fact, some of the finest Sikhs I know are not. If I may offer some unasked for advice, keep your mind open to the possibility of someday receiving Amrit. You never know what may happen if you hang out with Guru ji long enough.

You "know" wrong then. Whatever it is that you are slandering me about is of your own imagination (I wasn't even alive in 1984 and don't even remember much of anything until approx. 1991 so... whatever, this is just abhorrent behavior).

Thank you very much for this response it is very informative. I am not opposed to becoming am Amritdhari one day at all, if it sounded like I was saying that. Just, at this point I don't know when that will be. It is a very hard thing for me.

It's good that it's a very hard thing. That means you take it seriously.

Another bit of uncalled-for advice: do not wait until you feel worthy of Amrit. None of us is worthy. It's attitude and willingness and commitment that count.

If/when the time comes that you are seriously considering accepting this Gift, please let me know. I have a few suggestions given to me by my Dad. Nothing new or secret, just useful.

Mai Harinder Kaur,
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=32472
I've been thinking about it . . . actually I have read a lot about it. You wrote. 'do not wait until you feel worthy of Amrit' and I have to laugh, because that is exactly what keeps me from Amrit. I can't even think of wearing the kara, because I don't feel worthy of even that. Yet, I know . . . from this needling conscience . . . that I am destined to take Amrit one day . . . when I have dealt with a few matters of vanity. I don't debate, nor argue against the values of keeping kes, but man, my ego sure likes silky smooth legs!

I, for one, would appreciate learning those few suggestions your Dad gave you. Please share.

Sat Sri Akal,
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Sure ik-jivan ji,

The instructions are very simple. For a period of time - at least a month - live as if you had already taken Amrit. Try on being a Khalsa. It convinced me that, worthy or not, I needed the real thing.

I have found that actually making those promises/taking those vows makes it all a bit easier.

"Silky, smooth legs" look like a plucked chicken to me! In fact, keeping kesh is the easiest part of being Amritdhari because it's something that just happens without making any effort. And I would think being free of the meaningless ritual of the razor would be a great relief.

As for the kara, if you are not worthy of it, you need it all the more to remind you to at least try to be worthy.

And kechera. Imagine being free forever from binding elastic and itchy lace and I can only imagine what a thong would feel like. Women's undergarments are devices of torture. Comfortable, loose cotton is a blessing.

My best wishes to you. Guru fateh!

And please smile. It's good for the disposition.