Welcome friend. I will try to answers as per best of my information. Please feel free to ask more questions, as it clears our understanding as well.
Do you wear a kirpan in bed?
>>> Sikhs wearing 5Ks keep those on them all the time.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=14985Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=14985
Do you shower/bathe wearing kechera? And if, married, when...? To both, if so, how?
>>> The 5Ks are on the body all the time. When we go into details of how, then it has potential to become a mindless ritual.
Do Khalsa drink tea, coffee, soda, etc., that contain caffeine, which is a mood-altering addictive drug/mood altering substance?
>>> Tobacco (extending to addictive drugs) are totally prohibited. Unfortunately, some sikhs have found a loophole by saying that tobacco is prohibited, but liquor or other things are not. This has made a general perception of Indian sikhs as heavy drinkers. As you know, for some ppl, religion is something suited to own apetite. And for others, religion is something commanded by Guru.
Do Khalsa take narcotic pain killers after surgery, severe accident, etc.
>>> I think, anything taken as a medicine is acceptable. Not as an addiction though. I know some ppl even refuse to take those pain killers too due to their commitment.
Why do you use the Christian term 'baptism' for taking amrit?
>>> With many Indian sikhs trying to blend with western world, lot of terms were picked up from English langauge. As you noticed and i agree strongly, ppl do not use exact terms, or perhaps those do not exist in another language. In my view, some examples of wrong equations are: Amrit and Baptism, Kara and Bangle, Kirpan and dagger/knife, Kachera and underpants, Guru Granth Sahib and Holy Bible and so on...
If you go into more details of a few words in above example, those are MUCH more than their equivalent translations.
I hope these questions aren't rude or too stupid. But I have been thinking about all of them.
>>> Any question with a desire to learn is not rude/stupid. So pls keep coming back
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ki ki Fateh
Regards, Arvind.