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28-May-2012, 00:35 AM
|  | .jpg) | | | Enrolled: May 28th, 2012
Posts: 9
| | | |  | | | need urgent advice.......
Waheguru ji ka khalsa!Waheguru ji ki fateh!
B'coz u all r GurSikh I wanna ask u smth the person to whom I am gng to marry ask frm me my nude pics.
Mrg nu 4-5 months aur bache hai....I believe him & also he had convinced me to show my nude pics & videos as according to him it will make the relation stronger as a hubby-wife relation is 1st for sex.
I had showed him pics and videos. But now my self-esteem is not allowing me to do that, so I had talked with him that I am feeling that it is Manmat but he is not satisfied with my talk. I also said him that only 4-5 months are left so plz wait have patience. But according to him he will suffer alot if this will happen.
But what should I do now? I am feeling mental torture. Feeling that this is Manmat. But according to him Sikhi rules doesn't come in personal life. Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/love-and-marriage/38566-need-urgent-advice.htmlReference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38566
I am very worried. I can't show him pics/videos more b'coz my self-esteem is not allowing me. Also I am unable to break the relation as I had already showed him my pics......
DO HELP ME......I REALLY NEED ADVICE......POSITIVE WORDS,.....
WAT SHOULD I DO?
I m feeling that I can't go back & I can't go forward b4 mrg. Do advice wat to do in this condition?
Since we r gng to marry but b4 mrg this things are manmat?
He is saying me to break the relation if u can't show pics/videos.........
He is saying u have showed me ur pics then u fought, then again I convinced u then again u showed eda kini var ho chuka, I think ur pshyco jo meri gal tavahnu smjha ni aha rahi aur jo tusi kar chuke hun ahapni life banao pics dekhande raho aur mera toha oh sare hak miluga sadi mrg vi hogi, nahi toha zida ik girl da divource ho janda aur oh rondi rehandi ahakela oda ronde raho sari life. I will not marry u.
He said"hun jo kar hi chuke ho ode toha kyu picha hatha rahe, picha hathan nal nukasan hi hou tavada. Tusi dikha vi chuka aur hun dikhao ga taha mrg hougi nahi toha nahi" Got anything to share on This Topic? Why not share your immediate thoughts/reaction with us! Login Now! or Sign Up Today! to share your views... Gurfateh! | | The following members appreciate waheguruhelpme Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 01:49 AM
| | | | | Enrolled: May 28th, 2012
Posts: 9
| | | | | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
I am hurted b'coz he forced me alot to do all this stuffs...smetimes he said i m dng suicide......smetimes other reason.........smtimes emotionally........
Now as I said no to him.......he wanna break relation.......so mean Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38566Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38566
I accepted him b'coz he was quite religious & a amritdhari. I accepted him to get a religious life. But now I had founded that he is just weak in the matter of sex. |
28-May-2012, 03:29 AM
|  | .jpg) We seek him here,we sikh | | | Enrolled: May 31st, 2011 Location: In the Self Age: 41
Posts: 950
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Liked 1,010 Times in 557 Posts
| |  | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
Quote: |
I accepted him b'coz he was quite religious & a amritdhari.
| Sister,If he is an Amritdhari I'm the Arch Bishop of Canterbury,please ask him if his future brother in law asked for his sisters picture would he allow her to send it?
Last edited by Scarlet Pimpernel; 28-May-2012 at 04:13 AM.
| | The following members appreciate Scarlet Pimpernel Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 03:53 AM
|  | | | | Enrolled: Mar 31st, 2011 Location: Germany Age: 18
Posts: 265
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Liked 290 Times in 145 Posts
| |  | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
@Scarlet Pimpernel
Sadly this can happen - Amritdharis are persons like others... there nothing special and nothing better.. we are equal to all. Anyway - everwhere on the world are blakc sheeps. Most "Sants" and babas are as well black sheeps. Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38566Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=38566
I am just wondering what Navdeep88 wrote - that she deleted it.
I guess I am too young to help you - sorry, have no experience with this kinds of things
Last edited by TigerStyleZ; 28-May-2012 at 05:30 AM.
| | The following members appreciate TigerStyleZ Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 04:46 AM
|  | We were in this together | | | Enrolled: Jan 29th, 2011 Location: Delhi, India Age: 27
Posts: 1,368
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Liked 1,948 Times in 876 Posts
| | | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
Quote: |
Mrg nu 4-5 months aur bache hai....I believe him & also he had convinced me to show my nude pics & videos as according to him it will make the relation stronger as a hubby-wife relation is 1st for sex.
| First of all, what he is asking for is TOTALLY WRONG without doubt! And there is no second thing to say!
Anyway very less time is left in your marriage! Relationship will become stronger by talking and understanding each other, not forcing things. A matter of concern for you, if those media files are still on your phone or laptop or email account, some one can 'accidentally' access it! Better get rid of that stuff!
(On a lighter note, I deleted pics of 1 year old me in my birthday suit from my old photos collection!) Quote: |
I had showed him pics and videos. But now my self-esteem is not allowing me to do that, so I had talked with him that I am feeling that it is Manmat but he is not satisfied with my talk.
| If you are not feeling right about something, be strong that you will not let yourself do it. If he is still insisting, tell him then the whole ceremony of Anand Karaj will not get the respect it deserves! There is no Guru's approval yet! Quote: |
But according to him he will suffer alot if this will happen.
| Tell him that for him it is just doing something one day before. But for you it is compromising your relationship with Guru. Quote: |
But what should I do now? I am feeling mental torture. Feeling that this is Manmat. But according to him Sikhi rules doesn't come in personal life.
| Your marriage would still be completed within Anand Karaj only. You will always be a Sikh of Guru. Ask him to stop taking this life as his personal asset and dedicate it to Guru where it belongs! Quote: |
I am very worried. I can't show him pics/videos more b'coz my self-esteem is not allowing me. Also I am unable to break the relation as I had already showed him my pics......
| He can't break the relation, what would he say to his parents? If he talks about breaking relation, you can ask him the same. And if he does break the relation, you can TELL his parents the REAL reason! I bet he will be scared of doing anything such! Quote:
I m feeling that I can't go back & I can't go forward b4 mrg. Do advice wat to do in this condition?
Since we r gng to marry but b4 mrg this things are manmat?
| Keep calm and stay strong. You accepted his wish once. And now you know it is bad. If that is all he is interested in you, he is a bad match! I am sure he will get over it in some time. The only problem is that you have acceded once, so he thinks he will be successful again. Now a NO means a NO (just like a NO for dowry all the time!). Quote: |
He is saying u have showed me ur pics then u fought, then again I convinced u then again u showed eda kini var ho chuka, I think ur pshyco jo meri gal tavahnu smjha ni aha rahi aur jo tusi kar chuke hun ahapni life banao pics dekhande raho aur mera toha oh sare hak miluga sadi mrg vi hogi, nahi toha zida ik girl da divource ho janda aur oh rondi rehandi ahakela oda ronde raho sari life. I will not marry u.
| He will blackmail you with this you-got-convinced, now-you-fight argument. OR that I will divorce you before marriage. But you let him do what he wants. Just see how low he can get. If he does, it is SURELY better to stay away from such a marriage. What will be will be. Quote: |
He said"hun jo kar hi chuke ho ode toha kyu picha hatha rahe, picha hathan nal nukasan hi hou tavada. Tusi dikha vi chuka aur hun dikhao ga taha mrg hougi nahi toha nahi"<!-- google_ad_section_end -->
| Once a mistake is a mistake. Twice is a crime. If he says again that he will not marry you, warn him that you will complain to his parents, the whole local sangat, his friends and even to police (saying he made false promises to you!). It is not easy to back out when the family is involved.
So please don't feel weak! He is just blackmailing you! Keep your self respect ji!
Waheguru ji ka KHalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh  | | The following members appreciate Kanwaljit Singh Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 05:29 AM
| | | | | Enrolled: Mar 31st, 2011 Location: Germany Age: 18
Posts: 265
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Liked 290 Times in 145 Posts
| | | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
Kanwalit Singh ji , very nice advice! What i wrote was totally ******** I guess - |
28-May-2012, 06:46 AM
|  | ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap) | | | Enrolled: Jul 14th, 2007
Posts: 4,577
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Liked 1,548 Times in 905 Posts
| |  | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
He is either a maniac or you're just too desperate to marry him. | | The following member appreciates Astroboy Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 10:03 AM
|  | | | | Enrolled: Dec 4th, 2011 Location: Vancouver BC but from the UK Age: 41
Posts: 1,269
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Liked 2,030 Times in 918 Posts
| |  | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
In all honesty, if here were to be marrying my sister, I would personally visit him and set him straight, if not a few punches to wake him up would do the trick.
Although, I do normally leave violence as a last resort, but in a personal case like this, he needs it, straight 'kassaund' in the nostrils. | | The following member appreciates Luckysingh Ji for the above message. | |
28-May-2012, 10:41 AM
| | We were in this together | | | Enrolled: Jan 29th, 2011 Location: Delhi, India Age: 27
Posts: 1,368
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Liked 1,948 Times in 876 Posts
| | | | | Re: need urgent advice.......
If you want, one of us or Gyani ji or Ambarsaria ji can call him and set him straight! | 
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