I’m writing you this letter to tell you that
I’m leaving you for good.
I’ve been a good man to you for seven years
and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that
you had quit your job today and
that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t
even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favourite meal,
and even wore a brand new pair of silk shorts
later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food
for two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore,
you don’t want sex anymore or anything.
Either you’re cheating on me
or you don’t love me.
Whichever is the case….I’m gone.
P.S. Don’t try to find me.
Your sister and I are moving away
to a different town together. Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable
than receiving your letter.
It’s true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a ‘good man’
is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant
whining and griping.
It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut
last week…..and actually the first thing
that came to my mind was
“You look just like a girl”
but my mother raised me not to say anything
at all if you can’t say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favourite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with my
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the
lottery for twenty million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii.
But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life
you’ve always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote,
you won’t get a cent from me.
So take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this
but
my sister ‘Carla’…was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem for you.
MY wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=24095
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started.
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