My Black Heart

Vahiguru Jee Ka Khalsa
Vahiguru Jee Kee Fateh!

Deep in my heart I have a problem. The problem is India and Hindus.

After the events of 1984, the Delhi holocaust and the wholesale murder of Sikhs in Punjab, India is dead to me. I have no feeling towards that entity known as India. Since not a single person has gone to jail for all those deaths, sanctioned by the state, I believe Sikhs are slaves in India.

Since not a single march or protest has ever taken place in which Hindus stood up for their supposedly brother Sikhs, I have a deep suspicion of Hindus. In my daily dealings with people, if a Hindu is one of those people, I feel hatred towards that person. I know this to be wrong, but I feel that until justice is given to the Sikh Kaum, I will either avoid Hindus or wish them no good. What good have Hindus done for Sikhs?

Some say that there is now a Sikh Prime Minister, so that should be an alleviation. But that is no compensation for thousands of Sikh deaths, particularly as he has done nothing for Sikhs.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/interfaith-dialogues/35044-my-black-heart.html

People also say that Sonia Gandhi apologised to the Sikhs. I say, so what?

People also say that the Sikh leaders are our own worst enemies. People voted for them in the hope they would address the great wrongs done to the Sikhs, but all they did was fill their pockets - Akalis and Congress. I agree that this is so, but still the injustice remains.

People even point to bollywood and the preponderance of Sikhs in movies, as if this somehow indicates that recent bloody events are forgotten and everyone is now singing together. I find this laughable.

Apparently India won a cricket match recently. Frankly, I couldn't care less. There is a Sikh in the England team, so England is my team.

This ill-feeling towards that place they call India and those people they call Hindus is deep-seated in me. I know that this is wrong and most un-Sikh. Until real justice is given to the Sikhs - perpetrators put in jail, families compensated, real apologies given - I know this feeling will never go away. I know that such justice will never come, and so this feeling will never dissipate.

My heart will remain black.
Is your heart black too?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

- Kookar Guru da

Vahiguru Jee Ka Khalsa
Vahiguru Jee Kee Fateh!

 
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Kookar Guru da,
Please don't blanket hate a whole group. The pogroms in India were highly organised with paid thugs-not the average Hindu on the street. Hindus saved my family. The Guru's never hated Muslims despite the atrocities committed by the Moghal emperor's. Channel your energy in the campaigns running for justice! I'm sure you have energy and talents that will help the cause! Negativity will hurt yourself more than others

Dear Kookar Guru da ji,

This is a particularly difficult subject for me and one I am not proud of. I still have a long way to go.

For those who do not know, my husband, son, two brothers, 2 cousins and my 2 unborn daughters died in the 1984 pogrom.

Yes, the mobs in 1984 were thugs, but the fact is that they were Hindu thugs. I cannot get away from that. Even now, 27 years later I cannot see a Hindu without seeing my son lying on the floor, neck broken, blood oozing out of his mouth and nose. I see my husband dying in my arms. This is a fact.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

Upstairs from us lives a Hindu family. In an unusual family group lives a widow, her son and daughter and the daughter's husband. Last May the daughter gave birth to a baby boy. Much to my shame, I thoroughly resented that baby. How dare she have a son when her people murdered mine? And the grandmother! That should be my grandchild, the grandchild I will never have. These feelings were inside of me while I cooed and made over the baby and said all the right things. No one had a clue as to my true feelings; in fact I don't think I've expressed them to anyone before now.

I have had a while now to digest all this. Feelings are feelings and we all feel what we feel. There is no shame in that. However, I realised then and now, too, that those feelings stem from a very unjust prejudice in me that needs to be rooted out. To begin with, these particular people have done me no wrong. Sikhi emphasizes the concept of justice and I hold myself out as a Sikh. There is no justice in holding resentments toward people who are innocent. Aside from the immorality of it, it saps my strength and prevents me from feeling joy.

Is my heart "black"? I think not. I am a compassionate, caring person who wants to wish harm on no one. I am also a fallible human being with myriad faults that keep coming up to make my life less full of chardi kala than it could be. What good do these feelings and attitude accomplish? Do they elevate me? Do they do any harm to those who really are guilty? Of course not! So why hold on to them? At the same time, how hard to let go of them!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

So, I am imperfect, fallible, human. That's a fact. It's also a fact that I am a daughter of Guru Gobind Singh ji. That means that there is nothing that can come up in life that I cannot handle. I am not alone. I have ten human Gurus and our Eternal Guru, not to mention literally millions of sisters and brothers to guide me and give me strength. It isn't easy, but it can be done.

In the end, I need to remember this. We fought when we were attacked; we were Khalsa, not sheep, after all! I killed the person who killed my son. Thug though he was I am sure his mother grieves him as I grieve my son. We are all in this together, whether we like it or not.

I read this and it seems to fit here:

"Be kinder than is necessary for everybody is fighting some battle, and their wounds may not be visible."

Its Only a Guru Arjan Ji who can say..Dos na kahoo dehun...na ko beri nahin beganna...tera bhanna meetha laggeh...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

Its ONLY a Guru Gobind Singh Ji who can say..Chaar mooeh to kia hooa..Jeevat kaiee HAZAAR...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

We are just merely HUMAN..but we sure have the GREATEST ROLE MODELS !! we cna attempt to follow in their foot steps....even if the footprints they made are so large that we look like ant foot inside a dinasaour footprint !!

Many SIKHS make the greatest mistake of blaming "HINDUS" per se...and thus see enemies where we should be able to see friends...how many "enemies" in a population of 1.2 BILLIONS ?? and how many "friends"..." its really up to us. In the early 1940s vested interests made us "hate" muslims...and we became divided into two...now the same vested interests want us to hate Hindus..and diivde us yet again..but now it wont be just two..it could be a thousand pieces...AVOID the Hindu baiting TRAP set for SIKHS and get the 1 Billion supporters on our side...

"No man ever steps into the same river twice,
for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
- Heraclitus

Whether you are biased towards a positive or negative rememberance of the past, your perspective provides backward-looking orientation, not a forward focus. If you're stuck in the past, you are less likely to make new friends.

If the people in a culture that uses the past to evaluate current situations share a past trauma, they are likely to want revenge - even if the crimes against them were committed decades ago. The perceived perpetrators are not forgiven; they must be punished. This vendetta undercuts attempts at peaceful reconciliation and promotes violence.

By changing the way you think about your past, you can change the future. You don't have to repress past memories but you can learn from them by avoiding getting 'victimized' in a similar way.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

According to Dalai Lama happiness is not a static state that we attain. It is an elusive goal that must be constantly pursued. So it is with the past. Every happy past is under constant reconstruction. By rebuilding your past upon the foundation of positive attitudes, you can reclaim it for yourself, and in so doing, free yourself for the pursuit of happiness in the present and the future.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

- Excerpts from The Time Paradox by Phil Zimbardo and John Boyd

Sat Sri Akal

You are not alone i feel the same ...
Earlier that feeling was not that strong inside me but
after i have lived now continously 2 years in India,
sorry i can NOT get reed of it .

I got friends there , but the real ones were Sikhis only
all others more or less cheat for whatever they can ...
( they think if one does not complain about, they are very smart )
simply to start in a grocery shop and to end up
by being told that we ,, Sardars" are this and that ...
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35044

Even I am not born in India but my roots are from there and in
1984 as a child i have been with my Grand parents in Amritsar and
only God has saved our lifes ....

Dear Kookar ji

The events of 1984 have affected even us (the ones born after) and for sure there is no end of sorrow for those directly affected. It has made many people to stop wearing Gatra and Kirpan. People have stopped believing in their faith and are now part of religion as just another social structure.

But who is bringing this? Who is controlling India (and who was doing it at that time)? Is it a majority? Nope. There are 5 or 10% of people with power in India which are making lives sad for all Indians.

The Kaum (people of India) are sleeping and dead inside. A Sikh will not stand up today for another Sikh, so a Hindu standing up for a Sikh is very rare. And remember your average Hindu doesn't think about or against a Sikh. They have problems of their own. They don't have to think about bringing down Sikhs as long as they don't get political mileage or are paid thugs.

Sonia Gandhi took a wise political decision to put Manmohan Singh as PM. She saw Manmohan Singh as reasonable man and ally who wouldn't turn rebel. In turn Manmohan Singh being PM has helped the image of Sikhs and made us known as a global face.

Yet all said and done, it doesn't fix anything. Sonia Gandhi or anyone cannot fix anything. Just accepting that there has been injustice is OK I guess. Rest is all in our hands. To rebuild our Panth. To make people secure. Educate them and also teach them self defense. So that more and more can fight for justice in courts.

Punjab govt. like govt. at center continues to rule us with their own aims and aspirations. They only care about their own pockets or favoring corporates. There is no public welfare and talking of justice is like asking for too much from them.

Unfortunately, most of the movies show Sikhs as society sees us. Not as our Guru would see us.

I have lived in India for 25 years of my life and have got much love there. True there have been people not nice to me at times, but they were rare. So overall I have this perception. Of course, if I am lucky that so far no wrong has happened to me, it doesn't mean everything is perfect in India. But all I would say it is easier to live in peace and harmony rather than perpetual hate.

Real justice is still far. And with each passing year, witnesses dying or disappearing, cases rusting in court files and all.. it would be harder to get justice. But I am really happy to see people fighting for the cause in courts all the time. Special mention goes to Phoolka ji (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._S._Phoolka).

My heart is black too. Part for this reason, part for many others. And I know this for Waheguru is not residing in my heart yet. He doesn't approve of the way my Heart works. Yet.

Sincere Ardas from me so that Guru gives you strength.

Please don't feel like that. Consider all young members of SPN (including myself) as your children and grandchildren. That's all I can say.