Blessing without marriage?

Just some advice/opinions really, is it right to have a child blessed in a Gurdwara (akhand path) when the parents of the baby are not married?
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Ash Kaur ji

You ask a very intriguing question. I wonder if the answer is rooted more in culture than in the Sikh Rehat Maryada. The SRM doesn't have any language at all in the ceremony for naming a baby that states the parents must be married, though the family members are mentioned. No parent other than the mother however is named specifically.

Good discussion question too.

Regardless of the parents status, I personally suggest that the baby ( new life ) receive WAHEGURU JI's blessings ( in his / her own right ) to enjoy: Peace, love, light (enlightenment), health, happiness & prosperity in life !

No.

However, when the child is old enough himself/herself he/she can seek blessings.

The big "lets not get married" trend is a con sold by men to women to avoid commitment. Women nowadays seem to think that they are somehow independent if they do not have a child in marriage, but who gets lumbered with the children when the man leaves.

Bare in mind marriage is a central principle in Sikhi, and having children outside marriage is definitely a no.

I disagree Soul Jyot, what you are saying is noble, but I draw the line when it comes to marriage in Sikhi. Whether this marriage is hetro, homo whatever, it is still about commitment......and commitment to family and yes I have heard all the blah blah blah, about I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I am married.

Marriage in Sikhi is a Universal declaration to God and Sangat that this is my soul mate and I intend to commit to he/she for the rest of my life. You are seking blessing from God.

If they cannot even seek that blessing then what right do they have to seek blessing for a child that has been produced?

I do think however, the child can when old enough seek blessing for himself/herself.

How would this have any bearing on whether a child receives blessings or not? Don't understand that aspect of your comment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Narayanjot Kaur How would this have any bearing on whether a child receives blessings or not? Don't understand that aspect of your comment.

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My View

Keep the child to one side and focus from where the child has come and why marriage is so important to a Sikh.

By giving blessings to the child (to put it crudely), is like saying its Ok to have a child outside marriage (when in Sikhi it is not). It is OK to produce B a s t a r d s.

The child would be seen as a product of Kaam or self-will (manmukh), not God's will.

They are in fact saying, bless this child made from self will. Surely that cannot be compatible with Sikh belief?

Now when the child is old and conscious enough, he/she can seek blessings if he/she wishes, but I cannot see how the parents can seek blessings for self will.

Solutions

The parents too can seek blessings and have a marriage if they wish.

The idea is one of submission to God’s will rather than self will.

A Sikhs Duty

A Sikh never hides, never bows in fear, and he she proclaims to society and in front of God, when he/she has taken a partner. It is an act of bravery. It is an act saying “I say to you God and society, I forsake all others (apart from you God) and have chosen my soul mate”.

Producing children from living together (and not getting married) is hiding away. It is the ultimate act of cowardice. Not having the guts to get married in front of society and God is cowardice. To produce a child from that union is irresponsible and a Sikh never shirks from responsibility and duty.

randip ji

I have to disagree. There is no self-will expressed by a newborn born out of wedlock. The blessing is for the child, who bears no responsibility for the kaam of its parents. Should we assume that a child born out of wedlock suffers from its own past life karam. If we don't assume that, then we can take newborn children out of the grip of societal blame. If we can remove blame from the children, so then we take ourselves out of the grip of 19th Century ideas in which children must bear blame for the sins of their fathers. That is Old Testament thinking from the times of Moses. Suffering generational punishment is in my opinion too primitive to be part of Guru Nanak's ideals.

But the child does not suffer, he or she when conscious enough can seek blessings, what I am saying is, the parents cannot seek those blessings.

The parents are in effect getting a blessing for Kaam. The child (the product of Kaam), is not condemned, because when he she is old enough, he she can seek blessings in his/her own right.

The child should never have to pay for the stupidity of the parents.