Lighter Moments

Want to share a few jokes which I have read on internet....


The Pope lands at an airport just in time to get to an important meeting. His limo driver speedily takes off, but the Pope needs him to go faster in order to get to his meeting on time. The Pope asks the driver to switch places so the Pope can drive.

They speedily take off again, but unfortunately, the speeding car is stopped by a cop. The police officer takes one look at the situation and radios in to police headquarters. He tells the chief that he's got a pretty important person on his hands.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/general-discussion/8128-lighter-moments.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

The police chief asked, "Is he more important than the mayor?"The cop said, "Yes."

Then the chief asked, "Is he more important than the governor?"

The cop said, "Yes."

Then the chief asked, "Is he more important than the President?"

The cop said, "Yes."

Finally, the chief asked, "How important can he be?"

The cop said, "I don't know, but he's got the Pope for a driver."

 
Do share your immediate thoughts or reactions on this issue? We value your views! Login Now! or Sign Up Today! to share your views with us.. Gurfateh!

__________________
PrIdw aumr suhwvVI sMig suvMnVI dyh ]
ivrly kyeI pweIAin@ ijn@w ipAwry nyh ]2]
Fareed, blessed is the life, with such a beautiful body. How rare are those who are found to love their Beloved Lord. ||2||

How many members of your horoscope sign does it take to change a light bulb?

Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

Taurus: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.

Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.

Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?

Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...

Pisces: Light bulb? What light bulb?

1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering black visiting cards.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a black paper Xeroxed.

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

6. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

7. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

8. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.

Two swamis were in conversation.

One said to the other, "How did you like my latest book, 'The Art of Levitation'?"

His companion replied, "It kept me up all night

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The mother replies, "I don't like her."

LETTER FROM MOM
Mairae Pyaaaray Puttar,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last person who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
P.S. - I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh).

As she stood in
front of yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128

She asked,
"What are all those clocks?" .

Yamraj answered, "Those are
Lie-Cloks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock.

Every time you lie,
the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock
is that?"
"That's Gautam Buddha's. The clock-hands have never moved
indicating that
he never told a lie."

"And whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The
clock-hands have only moved
twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
lies in his entire life."


Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"

"Laloo's clock is in my
office", replied yamraj,

"I'm using it as a ceiling fan"

This story takes place in Heaven, where a newly freed being appears. After a few timeless days, God comes to this being and asks how its goin'. The being expressed much gratitude and appretiation, then pauses before askind, "....but what of that wall? Why is their a wall in heaven?" God tells him, "Oh, thats for the Christians, so that they think they are the only ones here."

Windows
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=8128
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"