The peak of awfulness

My idiocy is getting us nowhere, although its tempting to 'be myself', the truth is it just does not feel comfortable anymore, as indeed does being an alpha male.

A week ago, I decided there was no option but compete surrender to the Hukam, I have had enough of attempting to find out who I am, why I do things, think things, say things, the truth of the matter is that I can be anyone I want to be, but the most comfortable I will ever be is the 'me' that was intended to be me. I have never been a believer in fate before, but if the fate of a man is dependent on his actions, then the best way to act is by way of the supreme truth, Hukam.

So what has changed, my humour is more subtle, I have changed my appearance to be more pleasing to the eye, I do not feel the need to show the world that I am Harry, and I can do or say anything to anyone without consequence, now I would rather blend into the background and not stand out, certainly not, I suppose for buffoonery, if one is to stand out, surely better to stand out as a good engineer, or a good person, people used to leave the shop in awe at how bonkers I was, now they leave in awe because they have met a genuine nice person, I like that, its heart warming,

I have now fully embraced the Heretical Kala Afghani Sikhi that has made much sense to me. Although I accept that it is right for me, and maybe me alone, I respect hugely anyone who is a good Sikh, who tries to decipher what Sikhi is to themselves, and lives it,

Today I feel the most beautiful peace and contentment, there is much work to do in the shop, it is tidy and clean, I am tidy and clean, all is good, just as Guruji meant it to be, I wish I had listened earlier, maybe 20 years ago!