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Posted 23-Feb-2012 at 03:12 AM by harry haller

Last night was hard, lots of tears, Alfie was such a big dog, a big working dog, a real dog, and he is fading away before my very eyes. I cuddled him for a while on the floor, his eyes were still as friendly and as alive as ever, although I watched Sians mother die in her arms, I hardly knew her, and it really was her time, she was 80 and riddled with cancer, as well as being blind, it was a blessing to see her go, but death arriving to an animal that refuses to accept death, thats something else,

I woke up at 4am sensing something not right, I felt across for Sian, but got a belly full of hair, I realised I had been cuddling Dan for the last few hours, as I woke slowly, I heard the sound of soft sobbing, Sian had taken a blanket and was lying next to Alfie, face to face, eye to eye, talking to him, stroking his face, I comforted her as best I could, refusing to come back to bed, I sat next to her, and read, I did not know what else to do, after a while Alfie fell asleep and I managed to get her back in bed, when we both awoke at 6, I was convinced this was the end, Alfie was breathing very shallowly, I was at a mind to get him put down, rather than wait for the ultrasound, but I stayed quiet while Sian fussed over him, Sian hugged him while he lay there eyes closed, one eye opened and looked around, at that moment, Sian pulled back and noticed the opened eye, she laughed, he's milking this for all its worth, Alfie opened his mouth in a tired grin, We got him up on his legs, he had a walk around, he seemed better than yesterday, although clearly very ill, tomorrow is ultrasound day, so we will see what happens then.

I noted how the other animals seem completely unconcerned about Alfie, Dan and Virgil are completely unaffected, a complete lack of attachment, the more I watch and observe animals, sometimes I wonder whether they really have it figured out better than us
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