Dark and Light

So, without a personification of wolf,clown, or man in me, life has been quite peaceful for the last few weeks, I only seem to blog when I am going through the mill, and although life has had its complications, I would not class the last 2 weeks as going through the mill.

So, everything is now moving towards the light or moving towards the dark, however, I cannot help but think that each individual person has that individuality for a reason, and once that individuality accepts the hukam, it still retains some elements of that individuality,. so, I live my life, do all the things I enjoy, but with an attempt to view my being through the lenses of sikhism, and that seems to work for me, however, I feel I have barely scratched the surface. I would like to experiment with mediation, but more than that, I would like to really love god, as others seem to, as the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jiji states we should, and I just cannot seem to, maybe I am fearful of being let down, but it is a leap of faith I seem unable to make.

Baring these two issues, and as much as I hate to admit it, I feel they are both ego related, however, the other day I read the days Hukamnama, and it was full of how one should love god and chant his name, which was great as it covered the two issues I have problems with, and also informed me how much I was missing!

I discussed it at length with my wife, she feels that the use of the word 'love' does not encapsulate what she feels for the 'force', as today she might love cheese on toast, but tomorrow she might hate it, love, she says is very fickle,

words, its all words, god, love,

So,I would like to feel a certain way about a certain thing that is timeless and formless and infinite, ok it doesnt flow as well as I love god, but in a certain way it encapsulates it for me slightly, ever so slightly better