It has been a terrible awful week, not in terms of things that have taken place, but more my state of mind. I have tried my best to come up to the level required and failed miserably, I have just found out this morning that the reason I have failed miserably is the simple reason I tried my best, makes no sense? Well it didn't to me till about an hour ago either.

After Alfie died, I decided it was time to grow up, be a man, an adult, a bit like my brother, who is without doubt an...