The Cardiologist rang yesterday, I know him of old, he thinks Im funny, hmm lets face it, most people think Im funny, for years I thought that people always seemed to be laughing, then my wife pointed out that they were usually laughing at/with me, so I guess I amuse people

He does not think there is any need whatsoever for an angiogram, he is absolutely certain it is scar tissue, so the end is cancelled.

I am quite relieved, Sian is quite relieved, I am really relieved...

I take my reincarnations very seriously, looking back, each reincarnation has brought me closer and closer to Creator, a little less attachment, a little more honesty, a little less fear, a bit more truth, a bit more pleasure in the simple things, a little less reliance on easy pleasures.

The butcher next door has closed shop and moved a few miles away, I think he needed a new challenge, luckily, the other baby, a boy, is healthy and well, I drove over to see him the other night,...

The angiogram appt arrived this morning, it is booked for Friday...

I have been waiting for this day for 7 years, judgement day, if I am really lucky, they will be as clean as a babies arteries, however, they are not arteries, they are veins, pulled from my left leg, and are not as hardy as arteries, so, I should expect some clogging, either way, I think I have pushed the ante as far as I can, when I had my bypass, and drifted further and further into less exercise, less good diet...

After looking at some other sikhi sites all that can be concluded is shabad is Guru.Shabad is Naam. The Dhuni /sound produced on its[Naam] recital is to be listened to consciously and it becomes the disciple. The listening of the voice of Guru makes the consciousness meet the Guru; Naam simran. There would be a time , may be after long period, when the chell starts listening to the eternal 'shabad' i.e all pervasive infinite wisdom.; the true Guru..It makes a perfect sense.

21.01.2012...

My agitated state continued through the week, as the weekend approached, I felt I was a million different people being pulled in a million different directions, by Saturday night, I felt I was walking dead, the lust thief was too powerful, too much in control, I would probably spend the rest of my years going mad, the struggle between lust and Guruji eventually blowing a gasket, given my history of heart attacks and surgery, I gave myself about 10 years.

Sunday morning I woke at...