Stacia ji,
Oh, I empathize with your disappointment of discovering that all that is Punjabi is not Sikhi! Many who identify as Sikh, who can impressively recite the Bani by heart and practice all the ceremonies, (plus some from other faiths), are not by any stretch to be considered Khalsa (pure). From the outside, Sikhi with all its ideal principles appears to be the saving grace of humanity, but from the inside, we can see all the flaws that exists within any culture or religious group. Remember, those you meet are PRACTICING the Sikh faith, yet none have PERFECTED themselves through it. We wouldn’t be here, in form, if we didn’t still have something to learn from life, right?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/love-and-marriage/31831-if-marriage-is-sacred.html

Read the Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji starting here: http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?SourceID=G&PageNo=0001. Read it carefully and decide if what is written as the Word of God (Gurbani) resonates within you as the truth. If these Words are confirmation of the truth that already lives within you, you are a Sikh. Whether you meet with the approval of community or family circle, despite following the Sikh principles, is of no concern to God.

Sometimes, we are presented with duties (hukams) which are difficult. Sometimes God likes to make statements about the unity of diversity by drawing people together, who seem to have no commonality whatsoever, but still, they get along and become great friends to one another.

Sometimes it takes an outsider, practicing Sikhi with a degree of devotion and diligence beyond the pale of reproach to remind others of how Guru Nanak Dev ji meant it to be practiced.

I am smiling, thinking of the resistance you are likely putting up toward the choices you will have to make, so I will just leave you with these Words by Guru Amar Daas Ji from Siree Raag 26 (http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.as...ID=G&PageNo=26):
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=31831

Whatever pleases God's Will comes to pass. Nothing else can be done.