Aman ji
This is such a wonderful essay. So sensitively written.
If I may reply in a personal way...I was not born into a Sikh family and I am not amritdhari. But I am "Kaur" and am comfortable with that because the "gyani" ji at gurdwara said, "You are a Kaur."
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/30756-what-shall-i-call-thee.html
I won't argue.