Harbansj ji

Forgive me if I seemed like an extreme example of an optimist. There are some stumbling blocks in my experience and they don't quite show up in my response earlier to you.

Not everything has a rosy color -- that I will admit. And I did not want to seem as if I was ignorant of the prejudice faced by Sikhs in dastar -- because I am not. My point was only that the dilemma is a dilemma as long as a person allows it to baffle them. Then decisions have to be made if a person wants to end the bewilderment and suffering.

There are Sikhs who came West from East who have shaved and don't wear turbans. That was the way they solved the problem of "fitting in" and getting a job. There are Sikhs from the West who are still Western (but born in Punjabi/Sikh families) who have solved the problem too. Either they keep kesh and tie dastar or they don't. And there are Western Sikhs who converted, who for the most part keep kesh and wear turbans, as I said above, mostly the majority of this group keep kesh and wear turbans.

Each decision has its advantages and its disadvantages. There is no perfect solution. But the trials and tribulations of the "dilemma" go away once you decide --- This is it! I am going to do __________! You make a choice and understand the consequences. Keep your eye wide open. Make the adjustments that are needed. And then move on. Yes it may mean moving from West Virginia to New Mexico or California. Or it may mean working in one area of business rather than another. It may mean you go to a different gurdwara than the one you have attended for years. Or it may mean some other kind of adjustment is necessary.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/new-to-sikhism/26086-dilemma-for-westerners.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=26086

But making a decision and then moving ahead in life takes much less energy than continual worry about whether other people accept you or do not accept you. And making changes is an option. That is all I can say for now. Once we put these problems behind us then we can move on to some much bigger dilemmas that face Sikhs in the West that cross national boundaries and also religious ones.

Thanks for a good discussion.